(ROSE and ROSIE stand in a picture frame applying make-up. They both wear white button down shirts and back pants. A microphone is placed at center stage.)
NOTE: References to ŌBrianĶ and Ō PJĶ are of Brian ŌPJĶ Cronin, Ontological-Hysteric soundboard operator.
ROSIE
I hate you.
ROSE
I know. But itÕs true.
ROSIE
I heard thirty two straight teeth.
ROSE
I heard he has over four hundred and thirty five dollars in a safe deposit box at the Wells Fargo on 18th Street. HeÕs going to use all that cash to buy a Mazaradi and drive it to the Pacific Ocean and watch the stars twinkle over the water every night.
ROSIE
I heard he was joining the Navy and will be the captain of the basketball team.
ROSE
I heard he was joining the Army and will be the captain of the football team.
ROSIE
My brother wants to be him.
ROSE
My stepmother wants to marry him.
ROSIE
ThatÕs sick.
ROSE
ThatÕs true.
ROSIE
HeÕs an Eagle Scout.
ROSE
An All-American.
ROSIE
He can run the forty yard dash in four point four seconds.
ROSE
He can cook a ten minute egg in nine minutes.
ROSIE
HeÕs memorized Ernest HemingwayÕs The Old Man and the Sea cover to cover.
ROSE
He told me itÕs about a man and a boat and a fish.
ROSIE
He can count to twenty in Spanish
ROSE
He can sing the entire Star Spangled Banner by himself.
ROSIE
HeÕs seen every episode of Falcon Crest.
ROSE
He always tells the truth.
ROSIE
He never lies.
ROSE
He helped an old woman cross the street.
ROSIE
He only eats dolphin safe tuna
ROSE
HeÕs donated hundreds of dollars to Greenpeace.
ROSIE
IÕve seen him cut his neighborÕs lawn. without asking for a dime.
ROSE
HeÕs mowed everyoneÕs lawn.
ROSIE
His muscles are sculpted.
ROSE
No, his muscles are sculpted.
ROSIE
HeÕs as strong as a horse.
ROSE
Yet, as delicate as a lilly.
ROSIE
He only wears shirts bought and sold by Banana Republic.
ROSE
And blue jean from that Gap.
ROSIE
His sweat is sweet, not salty.
ROSE
So is something else.
ROSIE
You didnÕt!
ROSE
I will.
ROSIE
I hate you.
ROSE
I know. But itÕs true. Harvard Buisness School gave him a full ride.
ROSIE
Yale Law bought him a jet.
ROSE
HeÕs going to be a missionary.
ROSIE
Why?
ROSE
He wants to wash dirty brown people and show them Christ.
ROSIE
HeÕs so perfect.
ROSE
And he asked me to the prom.
ROSIE
I wish my date was as just-what-the-doctor-ordered as him. Are you going to ask him use a condom?
ROSE
Would you?
ROSIE
I hate you.
ROSE
Of course you do.
ROSIE
IÕve heard heÕs very large.
ROSE
How would you know?
ROSIE
ItÕs been said.
ROSE
Really?
ROSIE
Really.
ROSE
Have you heard about his tattoo?
ROSIE
He has a tattoo?
ROSE
DoesnÕt everyone?
ROSIE
I donÕt.
ROSE
Of course you donÕt.
ROSIE
What does that mean.
ROSIE
What is it of?
(Rose whispers in RosieÕs ear. This happens as music plays. The action lasts for about three minutes.)
ROSIE
I hate you.
ROSE
I know. But, ItÕs true.
ROSIE
HeÕs dirty.
ROSE
I want to lick him like ice cream. And heÕs made a promise that nothing will ruin my prom.
ROSIE
Nothing. And nobody.
ROSE
You know it will be ruined some how.
ROSIE
I bet a dirty brown savage will steal an airplane and ram it directly into our own Applebees. On prom night.
ROSE
No they wonÕt. He wonÕt let them. He has everything under control. He tells people when they are out-of-line.
ROSIE
His hair is always in place.
ROSE
He uses one and one half tablespoons of gel everyday.
ROSIE
Is that his secret.
ROSE
ItÕs no secret.
ROSIE
He takes his little brother bowling every Thursday night.
ROSE
He brushes his teeth three times a day. And he has revulsion for dirty brown people.
ROSE
He told off that girl with the dishrag on her head.
ROSIE
Thank God someone did. A photograph of her father was in the paper throwing gravel a giant green metal army tank. That is so uncivilized.
ROSE
SheÕs missing one tooth.
ROSIE
Did you hear what she said in World Civ class?
ROSE
Tell me.
ROSIE
She said Ōresponding to terrorism with weapons only gives birth to more terrorist.Ķ
ROSE
How stupid.
ROSIE
So I asked her if she ever heard the phrase Ōan eye for eye.Ķ
ROSE
Good for you.
ROSIE
It was Thursday, and I was wearing my pink HMV tank top.
ROSE
The one that screams sexy bitch?
ROSIE
The very, so I looked good when I told her off.
ROSE
I know you did.
ROSIE
And she said Ōan eye for an eye, leaves everyone blind.Ķ And I said, no your payless shoes leave everyone blind.
ROSE
She will never get a date for the prom with those shoes.
ROSIE
Oh, sheÕs not going to our prom. I think there should be a rule. Only civilized people, people that eat with forks are allowed to go to the prom.
ROSE
We should make her work the prom. Like coat check, or janitor, or the person that licks the floor when weÕre done with our dancing and have gone home with our perfect, perfect dates.
ROSIE
It would serve her right.
ROSE
It would serve her right.
ROSIE
Who?
ROSE
That girl.
ROSIE
Which girl?
ROSE
The one with the dishrag on her head.
ROSIE
Oh, her. I had all ready forgotten about her.
ROSE
She always asks me what colleges I am applying too. I going to have a court of law place a restraining order on her.
ROSIE
She asked me what I was going to study when I went to college.
ROSE
She asked me the same thing. I told her anything I can do in four years.
ROSIE
Told her I wanted to study the weather.
ROSE
Really?
ROSIE
Truth.
ROSE
Why did you tell her that.
ROSIE
Because I want to. I told her I want to be a meteorologist. I asked her what she wanted to study. She said art. She wants to draw comic books. She wants to draw the Incredible Hulk. Her favorite color is green.
ROSE
I didnÕt know they sold comic books to dirty brown people.
ROSIE
They donÕt. She got her first issue from France.
ROSE
They let her into France?
ROSIE
SheÕs never been to France. Her father brought her comic books when he gave a lecture at a university in Paris.
ROSE
GirlÕs shouldnÕt read comic books.
ROSIE
ItÕs like eating with your fingers. ItÕs not very lady like.
ROSE
SheÕs not very lady like.
ROSIE
Neither are you.
ROSE
Go die.
ROSIE
I hate you.
ROSE
I know you do. You heard what happened to her. Right?
ROSIE
Who?
ROSE
The dirty brown girl. With the dishrag on her head.
ROSIE
Oh, I had already forgotten about her.
ROSE
Do you know what I am talking about?
ROSIE
I heard about it.
ROSE
Of course. Everyone has heard about it. But, did you hear about it.
ROSIE
I heard it happened at the back of the lunchroom. Right after school and right before football practice. I heard there where two boys. But one lost interest when they got her pants around her knees.
ROSE
I heard there was just one boy.
ROSIE
I heard heÕs as strong as a horse.
ROSE
He only eats dolphin safe tuna.
ROSIE
HeÕs the captain of the football team.
ROSE
You could see it coming. The way she shoots off her mouth in World Civ. Do you know how it happened? (Moving across the stage as if in a crowded room.) She was headed for the trash. And spilled milk on his brand spanking new one hundred and sixty dollar Reeboks. His mother bought him those Reeboks for Easter. I was in the next room and heard the whole thing. Do you want to know what it sounded like? Would you really like to know? (She turns on the microphone.) Testing, one, two. Testing, one, two. Brian, excuse me, PJ, are we ready?
(The rape scene occurs. No sound is heard. This last about three minutes.)
ROSIE
Damn. I could use a glass of rum.
ROSE
I heard her pelvis snapped like a butterscotch candy. When he was done with her, I heard he whistled while he skipped away. ArenÕt sand niggers cute? Thank you, PJ. YouÕre a peach.. (She turns off the microphone and makes her way back to Rosie.) If she didnÕt shoot her mouth off, maybe sheÕd still be walking.
ROSIE
Do you feel sorry for her?
ROSE
Of course I donÕt.
ROSIE
I do. He didnÕt even use a condom.
ROSE
So? SheÕs just another dirty brown bitch.
ROSIE
I heard she didnÕt cry. But her father did.
ROSE
I donÕt see why. I bet it was perfectly painless. After all, he can sing the Star Spangled Banner. I bet it was like watching the stars twinkle over the Pacific Ocean.
ROSIE
I hate you.
ROSE
I know. But, itÕs true.
(Black out. Silence.)
THE END